Sunday, February 10, 2013

Me and GOD

This is not a religious take on GOD existence nor is this, some sort of intellectual declaration abt HIS presence.... This blog is going to be about my practical take on HIM, more abt how i want to see HIM, or How i should perceive HIM, if i  ever feel like finding HIM..
You know what i think abt GOD?  I think He is overcrowded... He is sooo full of requests... that He cant hear me or hear many of us... I feel pity for HIM. But then there are so many of us and just ONE man there.. alone...In the given scenario, some of us have to take our own responsibility and ease the load on Him... Spares Him.. spares us as well ( from the dejection and dissapointment) ... it may even feel liberating ....right now, i feel like that. of course, tinging the thought is another thought that by letting HIM go free, we may cast our own doom.. our dreams , for which we have dreamt and fought for soooooo long, might not come true, and even though right now, we smile.. but soon the demons will appear and destroy us ,curse us to hell for letting things go...
But u know wat GOD, i understand now... i understand that every time, i was being destroyed , i cried and screamed for YOU, because  i thought  i was to be saved.. like...like its part of some plan or maybe i was trying to ....escape from my fate by doing good things and following everything ... literally everything right that was to be done... But i understand now, i wasnt the ONE..... in fact, im surprised i havent seen it earlier.. ( maybe i didnt wanted to see it) and see the irony, ppl tell me to dont lose hope and keep the hope alive....BUT this time, when i remove the hope from the thought to be saved.. itssssss alll PLANE here... WHITE...
I realised one more thing, that i love myself more than my dreams and than YOU... for it feels right. I dont hate you, GOD.. but if u have got no time, and i have to do on my own.. i have to make my own rules and follow them...aint?  So,no hard feeling
i already once left my path and tried to follow UR RULES... im not doing it again...

So, heres the bottomline... im not mad at you or myself. I know YOU are here somewhere, but dont want me to see YOU. From, now on, instead of getting mad, i will try to respect that.

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